Dear Wilton,

I know you are somewhat of a name in the baking supply industry for I see your products in a variety of places.  I am dismayed to report that I was seduced by a sale at Joann’s and the thought of an idyllic Christmas memory.  I caved and bought a Gingerbread House kit.  In my mind this was the kind of thing people just HAVE TO DO at the holidays.  What could be better than building a gingerbread house and decorating it with your almost 3 year old daughter, right?  Oh, oh, oh…  You tricked me, Wilton, and you got me good.

First of all, who knew I needed to assemble 4 walls and wait an hour while at the same time not letting my frosting harden, oh but then what about that warning that this particular frosting is EXTREMEMLY prone to hardening?  Oh, and then there’s the addition of the roof panels, which then needed 2-3 hours to set.  Hmmm….

Let me also say that my toothpaste must be a different consistency than the one you referred to in the directions when told me to mix the frosting to the consistency of toothpaste, and then proceeded to contradict yourselves in telling me just how much water to add to achieve said goal.  Is it 5 tablespoons or 3 tablespoons and 2 teaspoons, or the somewhere in between that I did?  Well, I must say, the frosting did not pipe out in nice little strings like I needed it to, and also, that flimsy plastic bag you gave me to hold the frosting?  Well, it developed a tumor, which ruptured and made the piping of frosting a distant memory.

The construction process started at 8am. Maggie lost interest around 8:05 when we both realized we wouldn’t be using the candy for a LOOOOOONNGG time. The construction finished around 3pm.  Being that the piping bag was ruined, and the frosting didn’t pipe anyway, we developed our own spackling technique which carried us through the decorating process.  All in all, it turned out better than I had hoped, but certainly was not the quaint, Christmas memory I had conjured up in my mind.  I’m including photos to show you our finished product and also to document the ONLY time we made (or will make) a gingerbread creation.

Happy Holidays to you and yours,

 

Kari

p.s.  I also have a bone to pick with you regarding your cookie spritzer (which ended up in my trash can after a 2 hour battle with one batch of cookies) but that’s a topic for a separate letter.